But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all

A year away should change a person. Should change things. Should change the appreciation towards things. And it did. But I still feel like I'm exactly the same person that I was last year before I left. But it's weird, though. I felt like I was truly myself in Australia but a bit different. There were things I did not think or worry about while I was there. And now those things are back in my mind every single day. And I don't like it. In some ways, I feel like I might have been more myself there than here in Finland. It's so difficult to try to explain how I feel in words.

Okey, this doesn't make any sense and I'm just rambling some weird stuff so I'll just stop with these thoughts. :D

About a month ago or so, I played some beach volley with my friends and hurt my hand. Or actually just my thumb. I didn't go to a doctor to show it because I thought it was nothing serious. But I think there was a small fracture because at that time my thumb hurt like hell and is still hurting a little bit when I move it weirdly (and I have no idea why I do that). I'm not used to going to a doctor when I'm sick or hurting somewhere so I guess that's why I didn't go there this time either. Even though I probably should've. But the thumb is feeling so much better than it was a few weeks ago so I'm pretty sure it's healing.

And I have no idea why I'm writing this in English. Just felt like it. I guess I just miss English. Talking and writing. English was my language for a year and all of a sudden I'm not using it anymore every day. Of course it was the same when I went there, that I wasn't using Finnish anymore but sometimes English just feels more natural to me. Especially in writing. Sometimes when I write these posts in Finnish, it might take a long time for me to think what to write and how to write them. I'm not saying I'll stop writing in Finnish but sometimes I just need to let my English feels come out.

I've said this before and I'll probably say it a million times more, but oh god I miss Australia. If I could, I'd go right away back there. I'm just a tiny bit jealous of my friend right now. Because she got a student visa till fall 2016 so she can stay in Australia another two years. Maybe I need to go study there too. Or something. I just know this wasn't my first and last time there. It can not be.

Yesterday and today I've felt pretty super sad that I'm not in Sydney anymore. It's because Queen & Adam had two shows there and seeing them there would've been pretty damn perfect. I've thought about so many times that if I had left a few months later last year, I'd still be there and would've seen them. But 'what ifs' are no good and I keep thinking that everything happens for a reason. But at least there were live streams so I heard both of the shows! And now they just need to come to Europe too so I can see them again. :p

Aaaand can not wait for the weekend! Gonna have a little trip to Oulu with a few friends. So nice to get away from here for a while. :D Until the next time...